On December 10th I posted an article written about saying goodbye to two people in my life I loved very much. My Aunt Myra left this world in April 2007 and my Granny followed close behind in December 2007. It is hard to lose someone but losing two so close together was not only heart breaking but nerve shattering. My Granny was buried only week before Christmas. Needless to say that holiday was spent tearfully remembering those who did not get to celebrate with us that year. The only presence they had was in our hearts and in the ornaments dedicated to them hanging on my Christmas tree. Today here we are four years later. People tell us when we lose someone we must accept our loss and move on with our lives but do we ever really accept our loss?
I think about my Granny on many occasions. Sometimes when I hear a song such as Doug Stone’s “I’d be better off in a pine box (on a slow train back to Georgia)” or when I do something that reminds me of her. I could lie and say time has healed all pain and I no longer cry because I miss her, but a lie is what that would be. The truth is some days I question why she had to leave us. You see losing my Granny was not about losing a grandparent but more like losing one of my mothers. My Granny and Pa took care of me from the time I was about 2 until I was about 10. The time we shared will always be in my memory barring any dementia. Many of those memories bring a smile to my face but loneliness to my heart. There are songs I can no longer bear to hear because they were played at her funeral. Sarah McLaughlin’s “In the arms of the angels” and Randy Travis’s “Angels” are two of the songs that bring back the memory of that funeral. Grief you can manage by holding to the joy of time shared with those gone on.
The story of my Aunt Myra is much the same. The wounds have never really healed. She was so young and we only had six joyful years to get to know her. Those six years were wonderful. I can still remember the night we met her for the first time. It was very close to Christmas and my mom, Aunt Wanda, and I had been out Christmas shopping all day. My Granny called my Aunt Wanda and my Aunt Wanda called my mother and me. I was a bundle of nerves as my husband and I drove to the Nursing Home to meet her for the first time. From that time on Christmas and the 4th of July was spent all of us together reunited as a family. This newfound family reunion was cut short in April of 2007 when I got the call from Aunt Myra’s son Timmy that she had slipped into a diabetic coma. We made it to the hospital in time to say our goodbye. One week later we made the trip again to say our final goodbye. Four years later with a little over a week before Christmas she is very much on my mind. I still remember the last Christmas we shared together cooking, cleaning, and dancing around like fools. It was wonderful and I had no idea then it would be my last Christmas with her.
I would like to know how others feel about grief. How do you deal with the loss of your loved ones whom you deeply cherished? Do you believe you ever fully overcome the grief you experience at the time of their loss? Please comment with your answers. We are not here to judge anyone I just want some insight on how others grieve.