A poem, followed by the story behind it and words of wisdom from someone who has been there

This is a poem which tells a story that will be explained after the reading. Along with the story I offer my own word of advice for those facing similar situations.

Lost and Searching

It is easy to become lost

When searching for who you are

From the pews of the churches

To the stools along the bar

I searched every corner

Becoming more confused

I had no real answers

Only tiny clues

What does life have to offer

Am I who I think

Should I meditate deeply

Or grab another drink

You mind pushes one way

The heart pulls another

Is there more to life

Than being a wife and mother

You can find the answers

Through error and trial

Only you can decide

What makes life worth your while….

Written by Rhonda Meadows January 9, 2012

This poem was written as a recollection of a year of my life I now deem to have been lost. What made me make the choices I made? Some would blame marriage because I married so young, some would blame a midlife crisis because I was at the turning point of 30, and others would simply blame me. What do I think happened? I think the human mind can be manipulated to believe whatever you constantly tell yourself.  I believe your mind can overpower the heart. I believe that when your heart speaks regardless of your mind or stubborn pride you should take a moment to stop and listen. Had I listened to my heart I would have saved a lot of hurt to many people, the security of my family, and an 11 year marriage. Instead I lost a year of life, love, and happiness for a hard lesson learned. I am luckier than most and have seen the error of my ways and corrected the mistakes I made. I have remarried the man I love and we will be celebrating our first or 12^th anniversary in June according to how you want to count it. I look at it as a reconnection of the love I have always had and a new beginning to treasure it.  I thank God for the lesson but wish it could have been learned differently.  Lessons in life are often hard. My advice, if encountering a life altering decision take the time to be honest with yourself and listen to not only what your mind says but what your heart feels.It took losing everything in life that was dear to me to show me that being a wife and mother is who I am. Those roles are not the only ones I have but they are the main ones that define my character, my morals, my happiness, and much of my life. There are no two things in the world that I had rather be than the wife to a loving husband and the mother to a wonderful son. 

I want to know what lessons some of you have learned the hard way. Please feel free to tell me about your experiences in the comment box below with what you learned, how it changed you, and what the experience taught you. Did everything turn out the way you saw it, or did it like mine, take a turn that was not expected?